Our Choice of Wardrobe
by Cooper Writer Crafter
Summary: Mello and Misa were both sporting the same black shirt in the exact same day. Everybody makes fun of them so they decided that it could only be resolved by forcing each other to take the shirt off even if they have to strip each other naked [MelloMisa]AU
1. You wear what I wear, bitch!

**Title: **_Our Choice of Wardrobe_

**Anime: **Death Note

**Pairing: **Mello / Misa Amane

**RATED: T**

**Warning: **_fluff, quack and lots of OOCness_

**Summary: **_Mello got into Misa's nerves and Misa got into his nerves when they were both sporting the same black shirt in the exact same day. Everybody makes fun of them so they decided that it could only be resolved by forcing each other to take the shirt off even if they have strip each other naked. _

**XXX.**

**You wear what I wear, bitch**

_Unfuckingbelievable_ is the word for today. The expression both crossed their minds when they have a creepy scene together from Lindsay Lohan's movie _Freaky Friday_. For the record, Misa is not Lindsay and Mello is not her dream boy Chad Michael. The said scene is the one where Lindsay met a girl who was wearing the same cool shirt in school. That is what happened exactly to Misa and Mello that day. It was the black shirt that cursed them blind. Misa bought it because she thought it shows her shapely body. Mello bought it because it was the only decent shirt in the store he went to and he liked the way it felt against his skin. When they were minding their own business, Misa skipping for her date with Raito while Mello is munching on his ninth chocolate bar that day, they bumped into each other and then that's when they realized how much they wished to vanish. Misa's eyes rounded and so did Mello's.

For a long time they just stood there. Misa immediately remembered the Lindsay movie and thought that it was weird since it was supposed to be a girl who is wearing that kind of shirt. She suddenly burst out laughing when she realized that Mello looks like a girl anyway so it doesn't really matter. It was one stupid mistake to laugh at a hot-tempered genius who is a member of a leading Mafia group. Mello's face scowled the instant he could tell Misa was mocking him. He bit on his chocolate bar and gave her his winning death glare. Misa shut up quickly and covered her mouth and then she said nothing to apologize. Mello found that quite disrespectful, not that he cares about respect, only the kind that should be and must be given to him at all times. Look at her, airhead super model with screws lose in her ass, thinking she could get away with this. Look at him, pretty boy who thinks he looks so tough just because of that burn in his face and the way he could death glare like crazy. They were now measuring each other like real opponents in the battle arena.

"Mello-kun?"

He finally relaxed a little when she managed to speak to him politely. Misa smiled and pointed at him. "You're not supposed to be wearing that."

Mello was back to angry mode again. "The fuck did you say?"

"I said that's a girl's shirt, Mello-kun."

"Really?" Mello faked concern. "If I give a damn, I would have shoved what I am holding right now at your mouth but it would be a waste of chocolate."

Misa giggled and the sound irritated his ears. "Mello-kun, it's okay. I won't tell. You could just wear it inside-out."

_Who the hell does she think she is telling him what he should do?_ Mello tried to contain himself before he could punch her. "What makes you think it's a girl's shirt, moron?"

Misa showed him her tag located on the hem of the shirt. Mello did not look at it. He does not wish to speak to her anymore. He wanted to take an axe and bludgeoned her as he takes any amount of pleasure from each whack to her head. He wanted that shirt off her ugly body. "You are wearing what I am wearing, bitch. You take it off this instant.

"You are so vulgar and why would I take it off?" Misa put her hands on her waist and scolded him. "Misa-Misa likes this shirt and she is keeping it. I don't need permission from you so go to hell!"

"Do you know who the hell you are talking to, little shit?" Mello stepped an edge closer to look at her steadily in the eye. Misa did not flinch and stared back at him with same intensity.

"You know what, bitch, just fuck off!" Mello pushed her and she fell to the floor. Before Misa could right herself, he was already walking farther away. She let out a frustrated growl and promised to get back at him. She rushed towards him just as he was about to open the door. When he entered, she grabbed him by the arm and they stood there in front of everyone.

They all looked up but nobody spoke. Nobody was able to conceive the perfect idea for such a puzzling phenomena. Matt grinned widely and waved his hand towards Mello and Misa. "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Keehl!"

L choked on his coffee and tried not to show the expression of pure, inexplicable amusement in his pale face. Raito turned towards the monitor screen of his computer and was struggling not to suffocate while he tried to stop the uncontrollable fits of laughter. Aizawa and Matsuda tried not to make any eye contact. Soichiro and Watari just shook their heads good-humoredly. Near was flying around his airplane toy when he accidentally threw it across Mello's chest. Matt dropped the grin. Weddy suddenly walked inside the room, holding a can of beer and then as she was about to open it, she turned to see that Mello and Misa were wearing identical shirts. She blinked twice and then finally popped the can open, "You share the same DNA now too, twin Barbies?" then she took a big gulp of beer and sat between Matsuda and Aizawa.

"I have to pee." Matsuda stood up but Mello shot him a death glare that could kill Matsuda's future reincarnations. Aizawa started praying the _Our Father_ and asked the guardian angel to protect his daughter from harm.

"Mello, Misa-chan." L spoke at last as he tried to keep his straight face. He tried to figure out what to say. Then he looked at Raito who looked back at him. And then when both gazes were met, they started to laugh really loud. Raito kicked his feet around madly as he tried to breathe during his fits of laughter. L's head was down and he buried his face in one hand while his other hand was pressed against his stomach. Matt abandoned all cautions he studied since he is Mello's best friend and decided to join along, patting Near on the back to laugh with him but the albino kid was worried how he would get the airplane that landed dangerously on Mello's foot.

Misa was blushing deep scarlet like a red chili pepper submerged in tomato ketchup. She was embarrassed because Raito was laughing at her and she wanted to cry somehow. Mello was beyond reason. If he had a gun now, he would all massacre them in alphabetical order.

When L gasped for breath, he managed to say. "Why are you sharing each other's clothes now, Mello, Misa-chan?"

Weddy sipped on her beer. "They probably share a Malibu house with a big pool and stuff these days. I am not updated with how dolls live in this century."

"Maybe they bought the same shirt by mistake." Soichiro offered the explanation and Misa nodded vigorously at that.

"Maybe Ken was cheating on this Barbie with this Barbie." Weddy pointed at Misa then at Mello. "I don't care who is prettier but I am so not gonna be part of this sorority, Misa-chan, Mello-chan."

Mello was about to strangle Weddy while he watched the light leave her eyes but then he saw movement on the floor below him. He looked down and saw Near crawling to rescue his airplane toy. Before he could reach it, Mello started stomping his feet on it, blurting out angrily. "I HAVE ENOUGH! YOU SHOULD ALL FUCKING DIE! I HATE ALL OF YOU! I HATE THIS STUPID SHIRT! I HATE LOOKING LIKE A GIRL AND HAVE YOU PEOPLE ALWAYS POINT THAT AT MY FACE! FUCK ALL OF YOU!"

"Holy be thy name--"

"I really have to pee, guys!"

"Everybody just calm down! Raito, son, stop pounding your keyboard with your fists and stop laughing now!"

"Let me join you, Aizawa with a dance number." Weddy stood up, obviously drank more than one can of beer and started dancing and singing. "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world!"

"Give us today our daily bread--"

Mello kicked off what's left of the airplane towards Near. The younger boy just stared down at it blankly. Mello scoffed and walked off, grabbing Misa by the arm as he dragged her out of the main room. When the door was shut like thunder just roared at them death wishes, L asked rhetorically. "I wonder if their marriage can deal with this kind of problem now."

To which Weddy answered languidly. "They will probably argue who gets the dog after the divorce is finalized."

"What the hell, Mello! Let go of me!" Misa kept struggling but Mello was far too strong and murderous now. He pushed her to a room and she fell to the ground. Before she could move, Mello placed his foot on her stomach. "I am going to say this only one time: Take. the. shirt. off."

"Go to hell!"

Mello pulled her up by the shoulders and Misa winced in pain when his nails buried themselves on her soft skin. He started trying to take the shirt off her violently. Misa fought back and started hitting him. She was shocked that Mello slapped her. When he did, Misa was even aggravated and bit him on his neck. Mello pushed her away and touched the portion where she bit him. "You filthy slut."

Misa shouted for help and tried to get to the door but Mello put his arms around her from behind and dragged her back to the floor. She started scratching him and Mello kept using force on her. Misa was really frightened. Maybe she should just take the shirt off so they could get over it. But she wanted to show him that she is not some dumb bimbo he could just order and push around. Misa decided to take his shirt off him too. When Mello saw this, he cursed her and pulled on her shirt too. Misa ripped off his sleeve and Mello pulled on the neckline, almost strangling her. They started rolling on the floor, pulling, tugging, kicking and screaming. Both were determined to take each other down and dirty. Mello placed himself on top of her and managed to finally rip off the whole shirt. Misa screamed and scratched him so hard that her fingers were sore and bleeding. She kicked him on his groin and he landed on the floor. This time Misa placed herself on top of him and tried to rip off another sleeve. She met Mello's eyes. They were definitely angry.

There was something else in there too. She wondered what it was but whatever it is, she is eager to respond to it. She didn't realize it was going to happen but she knew it is a possibility. Mello kissed her hard on the mouth and she kissed him back as savagely. They bit on each other's lips and rolled around the ground, both of them wanting to be on top.

Misa gripped a handful of his hair to push him further. Mello started reaching out to remove her bra. Misa slapped him. Mello did not like that so he pulled her by the hair and laid her on her stomach. He started kissing her behind as he lay on top. Misa struggled and successfully pushed him away. When Mello reached for her, they started kissing again. It was violent and unpleasant but the way they touched each other roughly with every intent to kill and terrorize both made them aroused and excited. After an endless struggle, Mello finally softened and Misa relaxed. He allowed her to be on top of him as they explored each other. Misa fondled his hair gently and he returned the favor. They grinded against each other as they remained on the clutches of their mouths. Mello started sipping the blood from Misa's damaged nails earlier and he did a good job with it. Misa traced the burn on his face and caressed it with light kisses. He helped her up so he could pin her against the wall.

Once they were positioned, Misa unzipped his pants to feel his incredible bulge, wanting his heat and length to be plunged inside her in a breathless encounter of passion. It was so natural and it made Misa giggled. Mello did not bother asking. He is tired of reasoning out with her. He just wanted to fuck her now.

"Misa-Misa, Mello-kun?" Matsuda walked inside the room.

The two immediately removed each other's hands from places they were not supposed to be and started faking an argument about the shirts they obviously tore off from each other completely.

Matsuda just offered a nervous smile and pointed at the ceiling. Mello and Misa saw what it was and they could not hide the fact that this is a good time to disappear.

The video camera was laughing at them.

Meanwhile back in the main room, L was sipping his coffee calmly as Matt argued with Soichiro.

"Why can't I see what was happening?" Matt said. "It was just getting better! They were starting to kill each other while breaking stuff."

"I doubt that. It is what is planned but things have ways of changing." Soichiro tried to conceal it. "Anyway, you shouldn't watch it. You and Near should stay right here."

Watari was preparing L with another big strawberry cake. L was smiling curiously the whole time especially when Matsuda who rushed to the bathroom, realized what was going on and stumbled inside to find Mello and Misa going at it. His only wish is that the stupid Matsuda did not point the presence of the camera. Raito shared L's sentiment and just sighed when the show is over. Weddy finished her can of beer and was fumbling for another one.

"Next time maybe they should try wearing the same underwear." Raito said to L. "It would be interesting how that would go."

"Raito!" Soichiro warned him and then Matt suddenly got away and rushed to the monitor screen.

"Wow, they surely wrestled like pros! They are naked and tired and all sweaty and..." Matt squinted his eyes. "Is Mello having a boner?"

L pushed a button to do a close-up. "That's my boy."

Near who was holding the broken pieces of his airplane toy, looked up at Soichiro and mildly asked. "What is a boner?"

Soichiro gulped and the shouted at everyone in the room. "That's it! All of you are grounded in this room. The only adults here are me, Aizawa and Watari."

Weddy and L interjected. "How about us?"

"Do I really have to answer that question?" Soichiro thundered. "Tell Matsuda to take Mello and Misa back here and we will discuss all the privileges that we will cut from all of you."

L grudgingly turned on the speaker. "Attention, kids. Yagami-san is giving us detention. Please return to the main room. Thank you."

They watched as Mello and Misa barely looked at each other as they walked back to the room with Matsuda.

"Sex is the ultimate solution to marriage." Weddy sipped into a new can of beer as she looked at the screen with a soft smile on her lips.

Soichiro took the can of beer and said sternly. "No alcohol in detention."

Aizawa nodded and finished his prayer. "And deliver us from evil. Amen."

**This is just chapter one. I do hope that it came out fine. I hope you appreciate this piece of literature, ****kaitou angel**** and am greatly hoping I did not frustrate you in any way. To the others, submit review please!**


	2. Damned Elevator Buttons

**I know you all have waited for this second chapter. I was in a deeply morose mood but finally I am back to being happy Harley so I have made the second chapter of this fic, finished "Dirty Little Whore" at last and added a new story about our favorite boy Matty! Enjoy this one! This one will consist of five chapters from now on and will be all about random fluffs, Weddy comedy, Matt and Matsuda one-liners and L-Light sexual tension that are all threw in with Mello and Misa's dirty deed. Near and Aizawa will be occasional nonchalant observers as Soichiro Yagami becomes the detention teacher and Watari becomes a shield.**

**All in all this is just plain crazy. The scenes won't make sense and all the characters would be thrown in even though in the real plot, they never met face-to-face at all (ergo L and Mikami Teru with Takada) but for kicks, let us do that.**

**Damned elevator buttons**

Soichiro Yagami kept his eyes open for possibilities that could happen in a very bad setting such as this. He didn't let his guard down and he would deliberately point a gun to faces when they seem suspicious, even his own son's. Raito could only roll his eyes when he explained for the fourth time to his father that he was simply fumbling through his bag to look for a candy and not his own gun. L was seemingly enjoying the situation and he kept giving Mello and Misa looks that suggest very obscene thoughts were going on his intellectual mind. Near and Aizawa were playing race of ducks and Matt betted on Aizawa to win as Weddy betted on the child genius. Matsuda was the only one who couldn't find anything to do but chew on L's sugar cubes which the detective didn't mind at all since he is pretty much getting the sugar he needed from Mello and Misa right now (if ya know what am sayin') The whole place was motionless except of course Matt and Weddy flopping their hands and shouting at Aizawa and Near as they raced, Light biting on the menthol candy when didn't feel like sipping it anymore and Matsuda who seemed to be whimpering. Mello kept averting L's gaze and kept his distance from Misa the whole time they sat beside each other.

Soichiro noticed it and was thankful of it naturally. Just to be sure, he sat between the two youths and tapped his automatic on his lap while humming absentmindedly. Mello was not easily uncomfortable around guns. He is not a fucking woozy for fuck's sake. Misa however did not like it around but she could not say anything to her future father-in-law that would make her sound disrespectful. L's round dark eyes continue to penetrate on the guilty prospects driven by lust. No phrases were exchanged except Weddy's "Oh burn, Aizawa! Kid beat you like a ping pong ball!" and Matt who thundered, "You hear that old man? You're weak! WEAK!"

L sipped his coffee and was repulsed to realize that it was bitter. He looked around to give Matsuda a death glare when the idiot consumed all of the sugar cubes. L wanted some kind of diabetic release so he glanced at Raito who was about to put the last menthol candy on his mouth. L was fast enough to lean close by his chair and took the menthol candy with his mouth from the grasp of Raito's fingers. When Raito felt the wet tongue of his enemy/best friend/ tennis buddy/ handcuff assailant, his eyes almost fell of their sockets. L also realized this and he looked up at his enemy/ best friend/ tennis buddy/ mass murderer suspect with his mouth still on Raito's fingers. He slowly pulled away and sipped on the candy instead, muttering an excuse me. Raito looked like he wanted to punch L again and again but he decided to turn away when he felt warm all of a sudden. Too warm that even the air-conditioner seemed like desert air.

"Oh burn again, Aizawa!" Weddy shrieked happily.

"Keep your head in the game, old man!"

"Look, shut up already and let me finish this!" Aizawa was sweating. He gave a slight polite look at Near. "Hey, how about I give you a nice brand new toy and you let me win, okay, kiddo?"

Near's face was blank. "Why don't you bite me, loser?"

"Oh burn!" This time Weddy and Matt said it together.

Matsuda was restraining himself from whimpering. He wasn't really sure why he was doing it anyway. Things had been emotional for him and he was not built to withstand models humping mafia boys, old men playing ducks with kids, gay overtones between intellects and especially angry conservative father with a badass gun. Yes, it is a very emotional moment.

Weddy won in the end and got her share of winnings. She high-fived Near who returned it wearily. Matt was scolding Aizawa. "I told you the yellow button is the accelerator! The darn yellow button, dammit!"

"Yagami-san?" Watari called Soichiro. The other man looked up to acknowledge the elder man.

"Your wife just called. She's on line 3." Watari said. Soichiro hesitated but he realized no harm could be done if he just left for a few minutes, right?

See that is an illogical, ridiculous presumption.

Misa was terribly devastated of what she had done. She knew that Raito might not ever want to talk or look at her again. But for Raito, there really isn't any difference since he still wouldn't want to talk or look at her unless it has something to do for his plans for world domination.

"This is just dandy." Mello was muttering. He just witnessed the gay interaction between L and Raito and he had no idea what to make of it. Misa fumed and immediately accused L of perversion and then the detective gave her a stern look and said, "Pedophile Amane-san." Even Mello blushed.

Raito was bored again. He was really in a bad mood too. After his fingers were licked (and somehow made his stomach tingle) he was already finding ways to entertain himself. He debated on calling Takeda or Mikami Teru. He decided to damn logic and does it anyway. He speed-dialed and placed the cell phone on his ear. Mikami Teru's cell was ringing with the song, well, something like this, "_You're the sunshine after the rain. You are…blah blah...cuz I'm losing my mind when you're not around. It's all, it's all, it's all because of you_."

Raito raised an eyebrow and then he heard Mikami's voice. "Yeah?"

"This is god," Raito lowered his voice.

"Oh shit—" he heard muffled voices and then Mikami was back. "Err, god, now is not a really good time. And I thought you were up there."

"I'm everywhere, Teru...listen—"

**--**"Are you in my pants?"

"…"

"…"

"Why would I be in your pants?" Raito finally manage to answer.

"'cuz my pants are sexy."**--**

This is so wrong, so wrong, so wrong. Raito ended the call and wanted to shoot himself on the spinal cord. He said nothing though and L immediately noticed the silence. "Is everything all right, Raito-kun?"

"Yeah, Ryuuzaki." Raito tried again another number; this time it's Takada's. Her ring tone now is "Hey_, hey, you, you! I don't like your girlfriend. No way, no way, I think you need a new one. Hey, hey, you, you! I could be your girlfriend_."

Wait till Misa hears this.

"You look troubled, Raito-kun."

Raito tried not to flinch with that statement. He looked at L slightly and placed the cell phone back inside his pocket. Matsuda started approaching, holding the jar of sugar cubes which were now empty. L glared at it but said nothing.

"I need to go to the bathroom again."

Raito didn't know why he was asking them for permission. "Well, go ahead."

As soon as he said it, Mello stood up and pointed a gun at Matsuda's face. The young police officer stammered. "Wh-what a-are yu-you—"

"Shut up!" Mello roared. "I won't take this crap anymore! I don't wanna be freaking baby-sit by losers!"

"You're overreacting, Mello-kun." Raito answered him languidly.

"Oh, am I? Am I really? Am I really, L?" He turned to his mentor.

L shrugged his shoulders. "The gun is a dramatic component. What do you plan to do now?"

Mello narrowed his eyes. "Well, I'm getting outta here, dammit."

"Do so."

"Yeah, I will...but I'll take the hoe."

"What hoe?"

"This hoe!" Mello grabbed Misa by the hair. The blonde model fought him off but it was useless to struggle.

"Ah," L smirked. "And what do you plan to do now?"

"Freaking escape, L, that's what."

"Why bring Misa?" Raito asked, just watching Misa with disinterest as she was tugging on his arm.

Mello didn't seem to know the answer to that. Matt and Weddy were watching from the corner.

"Hey, Mello! You gonna wrestle Misa-Misa, again?"

Mello hid a blush. L and Raito exchanged glances and smirked.

"Is that what this is about, Mello-kun?"

"Ah, how fascinating."

"Shut up both of you! I have a gun!"

"Shoot away!" L outstretched his hands.

"That's not funny, L." Mello frowned. "I don't want to hurt you, dude, all right? I just want out."

"You gonna wrestle her or what?"

Mello snapped his head. "Shut up, Matt!"

"Am I allowed to make an observation?" Near spoke all of a sudden. All heads turned to him. "It has come to my attention that there is one easy access outta here and that's the elevator. Of course that—"

Mello was already rushing towards the said elevator, the only available exit outta here. He was tugging Misa along. He pressed the button and the doors closed. It also kept Soichiro and Watari from coming back. The Chief banged his fists. "Whatever you do, Mello, don't hurt Misa Amane."

"You guys are morons! I'm not doing anything to her!" Mello kept the gun pointed at Misa so she wouldn't do anything stupid. Misa glared at him, cheeks flushed.

"Mello is the moron, Misa says!" she launched on him and bit his had. Mello growled and slapped her. She fell down.

"Useless piece of shit!" Mello said. "Try to sit still. We're getting outta here!"

"Misa doesn't want to go with you. Take Misa back to Raito!"

"Shut up."

"Mello-kun?"

"Raito!"

"Shut up!" Mello addressed the elevator doors. "What now?"

"There seems to be a problem with this elevator, Mello-kun. It seemed stuck." As he was explaining it, L asked Matt to remove some tangle some wiring, securing Mello and Misa locked inside the rectangular escape route.

"Goddammit!"

"Please bear with us, Mello. We will fix this."

"Like hell, you lie!" Mello thundered. "I shouldn't have believed that stupid Near. He tricked me again!"

"You have no reason to believe that." Near answered in defense, walking to the elevator, observing Matt giggling as he was dangling around Mello's key to freedom: a torn fuse.

"Oh yeah? How about our given history of competition, how's that not a reason enough, Near?"

"Them why did you believe me if that is the case?"

"You're an asshole."

"At this time and place? No, Mello. I think you are."

"Asshole!" Mello kicked at the elevator door. "I'm gonna get you!"

"Relax, Mello." L spoke in his pensive tone. "The damage wasn't extensive. Matt can fix it in no time."

"Yeah, bro." Matt winked at L and he tore another fuse. The lights in the elevator got turned off.

"Shit!"

"Relax, Mello."

"Don't tell me to relax! I can't see a damn thing!"

"Misa is scared! Misa wants Raito! Raito! Raito!"

"Shut up!"

"Yeah, Misa, I'm here."

"Don't talk to her!"

"Jealous are we, Mello?"

"Shut up Weddy, you old hag!"

"Matt, did you fix the stupid thing?" Mello shouted. "Matt? Matt?"

No answer.

"L? Hey guys, are you there? Anyone?"

Silence.

"Shit! Don't play like that! Near! Weddy!"

Still no response.

Mello kicked the doors again. He sat down and felt Misa next to him. It was dark and hot and he was angry as hell.

Meanwhile L gestured for everyone to stay quiet as they all listened to Mello cussing under his breath. They were definitely entertaining themselves with this.

"Mello should do something. Misa doesn't like it here."

"I can't. We're both stuck here so don't talk to me."

"You got Misa in this mess!"

"Yeah, well, sorry, there, you happy now?"

"Misa hates you!"

"Well, I don't exactly adore you either, slut."

Misa punched him on the chest. "Don't call Misa names. Misa was being nice to Mello earlier. Misa asked him politely to take the shirt off. Mello was stubborn and he looks like a girl...a sissy little girl!"

Matt tried to stifle a laugh and so did the others.

"What did you just call me?"

"A girly-girl! A sissy one! Misa hates Mello!"

"Take that back!" Mello strangled her, resting half of his weight on her fragile body. She pushed him off and started pounding him with her fists. They rolled and wrestled.

L still kept everyone quiet as they listen to the two fighting and exchanging blows. Then Mello screamed.

"Dammit, bitch, why did you bite me again! You fucking carnivore or something? Get off me! Get the fuck—"

Mello's screaming was muffled abruptly. Then silence.

"What the—what did you do that for?"

Their audience listened closer to the conversation. Even Aizawa was interested and he was trying to hear more of it.

"Isn't that why you brought Misa? So you could molest Misa? There! Misa kissed you!"

"Shh…shut up! They're still out there!"

"Why is Mello so concerned now? You want Misa, right? Well, Misa will let you take her because she doesn't care anymore! She—" her voice was quivering and then she was sobbing. Mello didn't know what to do now.

"Hey...hey...hey, stop it, would you!" Mello scoffed. "Don't be an idiot now."

"Misa is an idiot!" Misa kept crying. Mello rolled his eyes and reached out for her in the darkness. It was his awkward gesture to pull her close and comfort her. He didn't even know why he was doing it. Misa remained motionless with his arm draped around her waist. She was rubbing her eyes, softly crying now. Mello rubbed his other hand on her knee.

Then there was silence from both the two sides.

Matt looked at L, waiting for instructions. L shook his head. They all listened.

Then from out of nowhere, Soichiro's voice boomed. "I am coming!"

"Otou-san, what—"

Soichiro appeared outside with the helicopter. He was speaking into the mic. Watari waved at them as he kept his other hand on the wheel.

"Surrender now, Mello! We surround you!"

Matsuda walked to the window and shouted back, "Chief! L imprisoned them inside! They can't get out! You gotta help!"

"Tattle-tail!" Weddy hit Matsuda on the head. "Now you ruined it for the rest of us."

Soichiro looked at Watari and nodded gravely. He spoke again, "Kids, step back and let daddy handle this."

"Oh crap!" Aizawa's eyes widened.

"Otou-san, you would not!" But Raito was already looking for a place to shield himself. Matt and Near followed suit.

"Yagami-san!" L was the only one left standing, the handcuffs already extended. Raito was tugging him but L ignored. "You will not crash the helicopter here without my permission. Watari."

"Watari!" Soichiro ordered back.

"Watari!" L said again, his face calm.

"Watari, now!"

"Watari, don't!"

Weddy was giggling hysterically. "Thank God, I'm drunk throughout all of this."

"I need a drink after this." Aizawa announced grudgingly.

Watari was reluctant to disobey his boy master and the chief. He then proposed something to solve this. "Why don't you play rock-paper scissors?"

"That is ridiculous!" Soichiro replied. Then he faced L and said, "First five points wins!"

They started to play. L was standing near the elevator. Soichiro was inside the helicopter. They all waited for someone to score. Then Soichiro won.

L rolled his eyes and looked at his palm. "That was the first time I lost in a game, a simple one at that."

He walked away as he murmured to himself. "Now I'm depressed. I'm gonna need two gallons of ice cream, strawberry ands green tea flavor, to cheer me up."

"Ryuuzaki, look out!"

Raito rushed to duck L down just in time as the helicopter crushed against the building. Shards of broken glass exploded. Aizawa and Matsuda screamed simultaneously. Matsuda wet his pants. Weddy and Matt raised their arms up, cheering, as if they were in a roller coaster ride. Near gazed up the ceiling, not really paying attention.

When it was all over, Watari rushed to the elevator and automatically fixed the wires without even pausing. Then he pressed a button and it opened. Soichiro looked inside and gasped. Everyone rushed to the scene except L and Raito who are lying flat on the ground together.

Inside the elevator, Mello was on top of Misa. His pants were loose on his waist so it was obvious what they were doing. Misa had her thighs around him. They stared with horror in their faces.

"You crashed the helicopter in here, you almost killed us!" Mello retorted immediately at Soichiro as he was fixing his pants. He caught Matt's gaze whose jaw was dropped fully. Soichiro looked around and gasped again. This time he was looking at his son and L on the ground. L was facing the ground and Raito was on top of him.

"I saved him from getting killed, Otou-san! I know this position is not exactly heroic—"

"Ooh...Raito and Mello got laid, eh?"

Both Mello and Raito shouted. "Shut up, Weddy, you old hag!"

Soichiro didn't say a word. He just looked for a seat (a useful one among the destroyed stuff and debris in the room) and buried his face on his hands.

Matt approached Mello. "Man?"

"What?"

"Er, I'm curious...didn't we promise that we'll lose our virginity together?"

"That's a good covenant." Near remarked. Mello glared at him.

Matt just walked away and sat beside Soichiro on the ground. He too buried his face on his hands, sniffing.

Raito quickly got off L. He scratched the layer of flesh where the handcuffs pressed itself too roughly. L sighed. He stood up and looked at his place. His inheritance built the darn place and it looked horrible now. Not to mention an old man beat him on a game. He walked towards Matt and Soichiro and instead of sulking, he grabbed a jar of strawberry jam shielded safely by a sofa and started devouring it, using his fingers. Raito stood by him, shaking his head in disbelief.

Misa came rushing towards him. "Raito! Misa is sorry! Misa still loves you!"

Raito nodded, not entirely listening.

"So...what now?" Weddy asked, watching Matsuda writhing and hiding the stain of urine in his pants while Aizawa was finishing a can of beer.

Watari approached her and said. "We get maintenance here to clean."

"And that?" Weddy pointed at the helicopter.

"Well, that can be easily managed. What else could go wrong now?"

As if to answer the rhetorical question, the ceiling collapsed on the helicopter. They were now exposed to the sky.

"Okay," Watari just smiled. "Now what else wrong could follow?"

It started to rain hard.

Near, soaked to his skin, glanced at Watari and said, "Maybe we should get the maintenance now. Some blankets and umbrella would be nice."

"Hell yeah!" Weddy was dancing around under the rain. "This is fantabulous!"

Near waited for Watari to say something. The old man smiled kindly once more. "I miss England."

Near agreed and looked at his bare feet. "At least Mary Poppins lives there."

**Disclaimer to the lines of Mikami Teru in the ****cell phone conversation with the -- . I didn't invent that. It was from the finger-puppet show of ****MikamiWillEraseYou**** in Youtube.**

**Oh hail random fluffs.**


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